SAX HELL

Will I ever learn?  After almost 6 years of parenting, I should be a pro at this right?  A good mom knows her kids' limitations.  She knows what her kids can handle and when to call it quits.

Well, this highly choleric personality knows those limitations well but constantly crosses the line.

Take today.  We had Bible Study this morning and afterward, we decided to meet my mom for lunch.  We went to sit down restaurant and besides the 3 kids going to the bathroom twice each, they sat still well and ate their lunches.  Even my husband would have called it a successful lunch.  I promise that's saying a lot.  He's the same man who has told them numerous times that they will NEVER again see the inside of a restaurant.

Somewhat impressed with my 3 under the age of 6, we piled into the van.  Eyeing the mall across the street, I couldn't resist.  I've been meaning to step into SAX for a few weeks now.  I just couldn't resist.  (Side note, I go to SAX maybe twice per year.  It's not a regular stop on my mall tour.  I needed something that is only sold in that particular store).  I thought Sax would be an easy stop since it's just in and out.  No need to even enter the Mall.  So I thought.

We walked to the escalators and went up.  That's sounds easy right?  Did I neglect to mention that they had to put their tiny little mits on EVERY Christmas decoration we passed?  Don't forget the endless commentary about the mannequins, which ones were headless, which ones didn't have faces etc.  Oh, and my kids have no idea what an inside voice is so every grandma in the store turned to either smile (as in, Oh, I remember) or scowl (as in, what evil human would bring those germ freaks in MY store while I'M having a nice relaxing day.)

We finally hit the department I was looking for.  Lucky me.  It's right across for the the children's department.  The 6 little paws preceded to tear apart the whole place while I chased from one to the next..."No, don't touch, put that down.  That's not yours.  Etc."  You get it.

I peeled them away from the kids' area, only to observe some of the most atrocious behavior I've ever exhibited out of my children (in public).  As I was looking at the desired item (the reason for this particular hell) my boys started a spitting fight.  Yep, you know those nasty raspberries that kids like to pass back and forth.  The woman, old, ugly and obnoxious might I had, was helping me with the item.  She then turns and says, "Your children are spitting all over the clothes."

Yes, thank you Ms. *^(^#&)(#%.   I really need your commentary.

I grabbed two hands, yelled for Girl Wondertwin to follow behind us and through the store I marched these hoodlums.  We found the exit quickly and I might have yelled the whole way home.  I can't exactly remember but I know my voice is hoarse so I must have been yelling.

Needless to say, I put the kids straight to bed when we got home.  They don't nap often anymore but today was not an option.  It was either they go to sleep or I was going to have to leave the house.  To avoid possible jail time, I decided forced sleep was the only option.

Grr.  I'm still bitter.

Oh, one more thing I forgot to mention, Girl Wondertwin was messing with a toy gum ball machine that was FOR SALE and not in it's box.  She somehow got a gumball out of it AND ate it.  The boys then had fits because they didn't get one.  And this lady was surprised that a little kid would actually try to eat the gum in the machine that was placed at KID LEVEL.  Stupidity abounds.