SAX HELL

Will I ever learn?  After almost 6 years of parenting, I should be a pro at this right?  A good mom knows her kids' limitations.  She knows what her kids can handle and when to call it quits.

Well, this highly choleric personality knows those limitations well but constantly crosses the line.

Take today.  We had Bible Study this morning and afterward, we decided to meet my mom for lunch.  We went to sit down restaurant and besides the 3 kids going to the bathroom twice each, they sat still well and ate their lunches.  Even my husband would have called it a successful lunch.  I promise that's saying a lot.  He's the same man who has told them numerous times that they will NEVER again see the inside of a restaurant.

Somewhat impressed with my 3 under the age of 6, we piled into the van.  Eyeing the mall across the street, I couldn't resist.  I've been meaning to step into SAX for a few weeks now.  I just couldn't resist.  (Side note, I go to SAX maybe twice per year.  It's not a regular stop on my mall tour.  I needed something that is only sold in that particular store).  I thought Sax would be an easy stop since it's just in and out.  No need to even enter the Mall.  So I thought.

We walked to the escalators and went up.  That's sounds easy right?  Did I neglect to mention that they had to put their tiny little mits on EVERY Christmas decoration we passed?  Don't forget the endless commentary about the mannequins, which ones were headless, which ones didn't have faces etc.  Oh, and my kids have no idea what an inside voice is so every grandma in the store turned to either smile (as in, Oh, I remember) or scowl (as in, what evil human would bring those germ freaks in MY store while I'M having a nice relaxing day.)

We finally hit the department I was looking for.  Lucky me.  It's right across for the the children's department.  The 6 little paws preceded to tear apart the whole place while I chased from one to the next..."No, don't touch, put that down.  That's not yours.  Etc."  You get it.

I peeled them away from the kids' area, only to observe some of the most atrocious behavior I've ever exhibited out of my children (in public).  As I was looking at the desired item (the reason for this particular hell) my boys started a spitting fight.  Yep, you know those nasty raspberries that kids like to pass back and forth.  The woman, old, ugly and obnoxious might I had, was helping me with the item.  She then turns and says, "Your children are spitting all over the clothes."

Yes, thank you Ms. *^(^#&)(#%.   I really need your commentary.

I grabbed two hands, yelled for Girl Wondertwin to follow behind us and through the store I marched these hoodlums.  We found the exit quickly and I might have yelled the whole way home.  I can't exactly remember but I know my voice is hoarse so I must have been yelling.

Needless to say, I put the kids straight to bed when we got home.  They don't nap often anymore but today was not an option.  It was either they go to sleep or I was going to have to leave the house.  To avoid possible jail time, I decided forced sleep was the only option.

Grr.  I'm still bitter.

Oh, one more thing I forgot to mention, Girl Wondertwin was messing with a toy gum ball machine that was FOR SALE and not in it's box.  She somehow got a gumball out of it AND ate it.  The boys then had fits because they didn't get one.  And this lady was surprised that a little kid would actually try to eat the gum in the machine that was placed at KID LEVEL.  Stupidity abounds.

What have I been missing?

Ooh, this one kid stuff is awesome. Why didn't anyone tell me how great this would be? Now I see why people have one child at a time.

I never got to experience the "one kid" days since I had my twins first. I have to confess the little bit of envy and bitterness that erupts inside me when I am juggling 3 kids in a restaurant and I look over to find a couple with one child in a high chair. Both parents doting over that little one while I'm doing everything to peel one kid off the ceiling while the other two are licking the floors.

I know I shouldn't be bitter but I do wish I could have had some days to enjoy a singleton. Well, those days are finally here, no matter how brief.

I took Little Dude to run errands today while the twins were in school. We stopped by his preschool to pay tuition and appease his little mind. He's been obsessed with school and so curious about when he gets to go so I decided it would be wise to show him his classroom...just to put his curiosity at ease. He even got to meet his teachers today so hopefully that will help him understand that he will soon go to school. He even left Sharkfin at home.

I highly recommend this one kid thing. If you can pull it off, do it. I am actually enjoying parenting. I caught myself smiling as we were crossing through a parking lot today. Those of you with multiple children know that shear fear is the overwhelming feeling while trying to cross small children when you have more kids than hands. So I plan to keep smiling because it's going to be a great year.

Twins

So I was just on this twin blog. Currently it's full of posts from guest bloggers trying to earn a spot as a writer for this blog. Each blog post was full of familiar experiences that most moms and all multiple moms can relate to. Anyway, one post I read was regarding the double stroller...well, many of the posts were about the double stroller. It brought me back to one of my first outings with the twins.

At the time, my best friend lived in town. She had a 3 year old and a 15 month old while being pregnant. She was great at pursuing me during those first months with the twins. All I wanted to do is crawl back in bed but Jen made sure I was out and about as much as possible. Anyway, she talks me into loading the twins up and taking them to the zoo. Keep in mind the twins were 1 month old at the time. They could barely focus a foot in front of them much less see the gorillas.

I had no problem getting the stroller out of the car and we tooled around the zoo seeing more than my post pregnancy, c-section recovering body could handle. I remember Jen and I packing up our cars and for some reason, she must have been in a hurry b/c she pulled away. I had the twins in their infant seats and snapped into their bases but then I was left with that big, honkin' stroller. Sweat beaded on my forhead as I realized that I'd never closed the stroller by myself before. Panic struck as I tried a million different ways, trying to get that thing into my Honda Accord. I even tried to get it in the back seat without folding it. You know that didn't work. I can't even explain to you how I felt at that moment.

By God's grace, a man came by who clearly had multiples...or at least children who were close in age. He could see my dilemma. He came right over to me, pushed a few (well hidden) buttons and had the thing closed in seconds. I could have kissed him..I didn't of course. Oh the panic.

Every new mom can tell a story like this one, I'm sure. In fact, if someone asked me to close a double stroller today, I'd probably endure the same fate.