My only solace is that he is kind and dare I say *helpful* when it happens.
Last night I was drifting off to sleep. Hubby was already way gone...off to LALA land. As I was drifiting I realized that I was laying on my stomach with my arms under my chest. I wake up in awful amounts of pain and my arms are totally numb when that happens so I somehow found the energy to roll over.
As I did this I find Hubby's face RIGHT IN MY FACE and both of his hands on EACH OF MY SHOULDERS. He's all of a sudden HOLDING ME DOWN and asking, "Baby, are you okay? Are you okay? You're okay now, it's okay. I won't let you lift up. You're body is lifting up but I'm holding you down. You're okay."
I SCREAM of course because I was so close (oh so close!) to sleep and all of a sudden I have a crazy person in my face and he's holding me down to the mattress. "What the &R#&^ are you doing?"
"I'm holding you down," he says. Well duh!
"Why?"
"Because you're body was rising to the ceiling" he says.
"Are you asleep?"
Pause.
He rolls over and yells, "DON'T WAKE ME UP!"
So of course I'm in hysterics at this point (but a little ticked because it was 1AM and I wanted to be asleep). I'm laying in my bed, dying of laughter and getting yelled at because I was waking HIM up.
Yep, I've married a freakshow...BUT if my body ever begins to levitate to the ceiling for whatever reason I know who will save me from such an uncertain fate.
Does my hubby have another family, and if so are you that family...?
ReplyDeleteIf it isn't crazy-ness like that my hubby likes to name condiments in his sleep...randomly, 3 AM: "MUSTARD!!!" Ummn, okay...should I add that to my grocery list, or bring you some, or...?